Healing & Creating Downeast

I’m not really sure where to start. I had not planned to write about this topic even a few weeks ago. It seems there is something about life that becomes very serious way too early in our existence.

A few months ago I questioned if I have an old soul or a new soul. I was immediately told I was a new soul AND from a whole other UNIVERSE!! Honestly, I don’t care what your belief/faith system might be, but this make absolute sense to my 57 plus years of life on this planet!!! See if you don’t begin to agree…….

In 2007 I had a bout with breast cancer – surgery/lumpectomy/chemo/radiation….took up a good chunk of the year. I worked through almost every day of it except when I had to sit for chemo. I found out many years later (and from my current NP at the breast and wellness center I go to faithfully out of state) that it was the triple negative invasive ductal cancer…stage 2b…and 2 years after that they had found after a second benign biopsy that there were micro cancers in my lymph nodes that they had gone back to in order to check the original tissue…right side only effected.

After waiting 3.5 months for the second biopsy results…..grrrrrr….I left my original surgeon and oncologist. Just give me the news. Nothing would have changed with my prior treatment…but still! And then I was good for 17 years!!! That’s a pretty darn long time to survive beyond that kind of cancer. And I truly love the team that I go to out of state! The NP is exceptional and compassionate and the first person to explain my whole history so that I understood it. I think in 2007 I was a bit overwhelmed with the news, yet it felt not so horrible compared to kidnapping/rape and losing custody of my son in 1999. Those are the top 2 and probably will remain up there.

So this past May 10th I drove down from Maine to see my NP and get my yearly mammogram. I have really good insurance that allows me to see who I want and she is who I want to see. After my tests I see GL to have a short visit and physical exam….as we were chatting and I was about to be examined, GL got the results on her computer that something was found in my right breast again. This time it was closer to the breastbone and not my arm. Being the incredible advocate she is and knowing that I had just come all the way down from Maine (6 hrs), she was able to schedule me that same afternoon for a diagnostic mammogram and an ultrasound. Which happened and then a biopsy was scheduled for 2 weeks on…May 24th. Back to Maine to consider options and then back to MA/CT for the biopsy.

Here is the small bandage from the biopsy where I was able to see the tumor and learn more about it.

I received a call while finishing up my performance review at work that was the nurse….”you have cancer and it is invasive ductal carcinoma stage 2. We are waiting for the HER-2 results…Your next appointment is scheduled this Thursday (tomorrow) to meet with the surgeon.” Typically, from my experience that is a 15 minute appointment. But have I mentioned how much I love my oncology team?? I left work and drove home to quickly pack again and make a 3rd trip to CT/MA in 3 weeks. I was tired…

My appointment with the surgeon turned out to be a solid 2 hours with the fellow and attending, nurses, and scheduling, etc. The two surgeons examined me and then I met with them together and individually…and with the nurse too. Everything was explained, all my questions answered. I was given the options for treatment. Due to my prior case of breast cancer, and this being different despite being the same type, chemo and radiation were not an option. We needed to see what the HER-2 would be to confirm after treatment…but a mastectomy was recommended.

I decided in 2009 that if my cancer ever came back….I would request a double mastectomy. Which I did now. I asked to be flat with no reconstruction. The surgeons fully supported my request and went over the risks, etc. The nurse reviewed how to care for drains…I would have 4. I remember them from the first time but reviews are good.

After this 3 weeks of running back and forth, I made sure to talk to some of my siblings, my folks (who I stay with on trips south), and a few friends before heading back to Maine. I stopped and stayed overnight with my son and his wife to fill them in more too. It was Memorial Day weekend so the trip back to Maine was quick, the visits too short…traffic is a bitch after all!

At this point I had to figure out my two jobs and wait to hear when surgery would be…I refused to change oncology offices to Maine…my team was exceptional and I was keeping them!

More to come…..let’s all take a breath and be grateful for the days and nights. Thank you for reading this far. I didn’t expect this to be part of my 2024 journey at all!!